I am sure many of you have heard the song ¨Way Maker" by Leeland. If you haven´t, you should give a listen; I am going to reference it a couple of times throughout this blog. The first time I had heard it was at Follow 2019. This is a Wesleyan conference that only happens every 4 years. This was my second time going. It was in Cincinnati, Ohio. You are probably wondering by now, ¨Why is Kaylin telling me about some trip to Ohio?¨. Back in 9th grade when I decided I wanted to graduate early and take a gap year, I didn´t see the struggles or the stress that would come with it. I saw my passion and overwhelming joy for missions and this new opportunity that I wanted to take advantage of. This past summer, I went to NTS(Never The Same) camp with my church. With my transition from a sophmore to a senior and my gap year coming up, I expected this to be the place where God said, ¨Okay, Kaylin. This is exactly what I want from you." To my sad surprise, that isn´t what I got. I didn´t feel like I got anything, if I´m being honest. In Way Maker it says, ¨Even when I don´t feel it, You´re working... You never stop working." Too bad I didn´t know this song last summer. After camp, my youth pastor was asking me about my experience. I was kind of ashamed to say I was struggling to feel God´s presence. I told him anyway; I told him my expectations and how they weren´t necessarily met. Then, as youth pastors always seem to do, he showered me with his wisdom enlightening me to a new perspective. He said ¨Sometimes God treats us like teenagers; He gives us freedom because He is trusting us". Maybe I am right where God wants me and that´s why my doors aren´t closing. A lot of times it is hard to keep pushing forward without His comfirmation. Now, back to Cincinnati this past December. Way Maker is one of those songs that is played almost every night until the last day when we are all screaming it in celebration. Of course there was that day that they told you to sit, listen, and wait. You don´t always have to be the one talking in your conversations with God. This is often very hard for me. I feel like I will confuse what I want or something with God´s voice, but I did it. I sat, listened, and waited. There it was. He said it. ¨I got you Kaylin. This is right where I want you, forever.¨ My call to missions was finally here and I was elated. His timing is better than we could imagine. He is greater than our expecatations. 

I am going to leave you a list of my absolute favorite songs right now because they get me through these tough times and I hope they will help you as well. 

New Name Written Down in Glory - People & Songs

Good Grace - Hillsong UNITED

Graves into Gardens - Elevation Worship

Rest In You - All Sons & Daughters

Extravagant - Bethel Music

Springtime - Chris Renzema

Satisfied in You (Psalm 42) -The Sing Team

Come to the table - Common Hymnal