One Next Step at a Time

I am writing this blog from two sources. The first is the sermon this past Sunday from Matt Irvine at Alive Wesleyan on burnout. The second is a book called “Follow the Cloud” by John Stickl. You really know God is speaking when He makes multiple things that have nothing to do with each other give you the same message. 

The sermon this past Sunday was one of those where you could’ve been the only one in the room because it felt as though he was only talking to you. I have gone through more trials in the past 10 months than I have ever gone through in my whole 17 years of living. Matt said, “Burnout is when all resources have been exhausted.” If I’m being honest, mine are. I wake up, go to work for 4 or 5 hours and come home exhausted and not because my job is hard. Over quarantine, it became a usual to spend most of my time in my room, sadly, scrolling through my phone. It pains me to admit that. I am constantly tired and just want to get through the day, for no reason. I don’t want to feel this way. I find myself stuck going through the motions all too often. Have you guys fallen into this in these new times? Matt based his message off of the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 18 and 19. After endless trials, Elijah asks God to take his life because he was burnt out. Often, I think that God should react to me and my selfish actions with anger, but He doesn’t. Instead He wants to take care of us, responding in compassion. “Suddenly, an angel touched him. The angel told him, ‘Get up and eat’. Then he looked and there at his head was a loaf of bread baked over hot stones, and a jug of water.” (1 Kings 19:5-6). When we become burnt out, we begin to believe lies that we are too far gone or to forget God’s power. God only gives you what you can handle. If He shows us the whole picture, we would be overwhelmed. God is never surprised or angry; He wants to refresh and rewire us. If we are still alive, God isn’t done working. 

“HIS VOICE IS STILL THERE, EVEN IF THE MIRACLES AREN’T”

Follow the Cloud is an analogy about Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt. “By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night” (Exodus 13:21). It talks about how we can still follow the cloud today, even if it’s not a physical one. The Isrealites never questioned God or the cloud until they became fearful or anxious. Can’t you relate? I know I can. No problem following a cloud until you’re stuck between an angry army and an ‘uncrossable’ sea, right? What is your army and your sea?  “[God] leads you toward your fears so that you can become fearless in His love!” Stickl says, “God speaks in sentences not paragraphs because you can only obey one sentence at a time.” In this process of going on the World Race, I often find myself asking God for a little bit more information than He’s already given me. I feel like this is common for a lot of people making both big and small decisions. 

Change. It is something we like, when it is under our control, but as soon as it moves out of our control, we instantly resent it. “Sometimes we prefer the security of slavery to the unknown of freedom.” We get stuck in the in between. “We have the faith to follow God out of the old, but we don’t have the faith to follow him into the new.” This resonates in my life and I’d respectfully  assume it does in yours as well. I find myself afraid to take that next step into the unknown. Do you find yourself living between the cross and the empty tomb? Between forgiveness and a resurrected life? In John chapter 5, God asks a paralyzed man if he wants to get well? As a reader, I’m like duh, why would that even be questioned. But the man doesn’t answer, instead he makes excuses for why he hasn’t changed. Don’t you find yourself doing that? We become focused on our brokenness, shame, guilt, hurt, or pain rather than looking to the Healer reaching out His hand right in front of us. “Jesus knows that if we don’t want to get well, he can’t force us to be.”

Stop playing hide and seek with God. He wants you to vent to Him. He wants to comfort you and respond in compassion not anger. Like Peter, Jesus will still call you friend, even when it is least deserved. “If we are faithless, He will remain faithful.” (2 Timothy 2:13). Jesus got what we deserved, so that we could get what He deserved. Read that sentence again. So, while it may seem like it takes the biggest leap of faith to get somewhere, take it one guided step at a time. Sometimes it takes one blind baby step forward. Today, ask God to guide you one step closer to Him.