Were You Scared?

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears” -Psalm 34:4

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave or forsake you” -Deuteronomy 31:6

Following the Lord has been a long process of walking out of fear and walking into deeper faith. From leaving my family and the comforts of my home at 17 to moving to countries where it is illegal to share the gospel, to share the gospel, I will say the little or big leaps of faith helped equip me to say the one big yes to moving to a war zone. 

As most of you know, I have spent the last 4-5ish months working with Ukrainian refugees and driving food into the war zone. The first two times I went in, I didn’t see any destruction or hear any shelling, bombs, or missiles. As I moved back to Romania this summer, I knew I would have to spend a large amount of time in Ukraine to keep from running out of days on my tourist visa. The second week of July the team of drivers with A Jesus Mission made the decision to move the drive team to Ukraine. This would cut out hours and days worth of driving to and from Romania. 

So, how does one mentally prepare to move to a war zone? Prayer. Peace. Confirmation. When I first brought this to the Lord. I realized that my heart in ministry is for those in need. While, yes, we are all in need of the hope and love of Jesus Christ, my heart breaks for those in need physically. To love and care for the least of these. 

“For I was hungry and you gave Me food, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you or thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to Me.” Matthew 25:35-40

When I think about the situation in Ukraine first and foremost my heart breaks. My heart breaks for the young sons and daughters who have to say goodbye to their fathers and grandfathers not knowing if they will ever return. My heart breaks for the wives who kiss their husbands not knowing if it will be their last. My heart breaks for the mothers and grandmothers who, while filled with pride for their husbands, sons, and grandsons, are also filled with fear. 

 Then comes this question; “Were you scared?” I have been asked this quite a few times since returning home. I think while in Ukraine I was so focused on the task at hand that I didn’t allow fear to have a place. I am going to assume that most of my readers are from the states and therefore also assume that most of us have never been woken up by the sounds of bombs and shelling hitting our cities or gone on a daily drive dodging holes in the road due to them being hit last night. This is scary. Going to bed every night to the thunder just outside the building. Asking the Lord to protect you. To simply spare your life, but also trusting Him and knowing all will be well even if He doesn’t. By saying yes to living in Ukraine, I also said yes to giving up my life for the sake of His children. Am I willing to die, so that this family can have the possibility of life for a few extra months? Am I willing to die to get this church food to distribute to those who desperately need it? Did I wake up multiple times a night to the thundering or light flashing outside my window? Yeah. Was it alarming? Most of the time. Did it give me an extra dose of gratitude for my life? For each breath in my lungs? Always. 

The best way I can sum up the answer to this question is… Being in a worldly scary place isn’t so scary when you have confidence that you are in the Lord’s will. There, there is this confidence that He is with you. He has gone before you and behind you. He won’t leave you. There, there is peace. There is hope. 

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” – John 14:27

This is what I hoped to leave with the Ukrainians along with their bag of food. The hope and abundant love of Jesus Christ.  

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” -Romans 8:28

There are still people serving under A Jesus Mission in Ukraine. They simply can’t do what they are doing without your donations as well as prayer support. I have seen the cycle first hand of food from the stores/being driven in on 20 ton box trucks, ending at peoples homes on the front lines in Ukraine. Click the link below to find out more about it and where to donate!

Ukraine Response by A Jesus Mission